I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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