so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
