And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
