I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
