saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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