Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize