Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Randomize
