piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
