I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
