Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
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