after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
