just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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