You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
