i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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