He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
