Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
