watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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