apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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