My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
