You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Randomize
