This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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