my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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