I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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