You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Randomize
