NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
