If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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