He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize