This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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