Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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