You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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