i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
