i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
