Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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