well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
