Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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