Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Found your dick twin last night
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
