Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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