At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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