You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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