wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
