how can u be prego again
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize