She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
