So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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