And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize