Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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