So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
