where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
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Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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