Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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