i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
