what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you would pick up someone in the library
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
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