Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize