Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
