New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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