a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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