I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
