You're my little dorito
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
