why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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