I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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