so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
