i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
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He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
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The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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