Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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